Confidence is one of the most important traits you can cultivate. It allows you to take risks, pursue opportunities, and present your best self to the world. Yet true confidence doesn’t happen overnight. It takes dedication and conscious effort to build real and lasting self-assurance.
The good news? Confidence is absolutely something you can nurture in yourself with consistent practice. Follow this comprehensive guide to learn powerful yet practical tips for feeling, acting, and being more confident each day.
The Path to Self-Assurance: Guide to Building Confidence
Why Confidence Matters
Before diving into how to be more confident, it helps to understand why confidence matters so much in the first place.
At its core, confidence is about believing in yourself and your abilities. When you feel self-assured, you know you can handle whatever comes your way. Confidence enables you to:
- Take action despite fear or uncertainty
- Pursue growth and self-improvement
- Speak up for yourself and your needs
- Try new things outside your comfort zone
- Present your best self to others
- Recover quickly from setbacks
- Trust your instincts and abilities
Equally important, confidence has an enormous impact on how other people perceive you. Displays of assuredness can make you seem more competent, credible, and charismatic.
Exuding confidence allows you to take up space and command respect. It inspires trust and admiration in your teammates, clients, managers, and peers.
In short, confidence gives you the courage to go after what you want—and the gravitas to achieve it. Let’s look at some of the most effective ways to start building unshakeable confidence.
Adopt Confident Body Language
Your body language has an enormous impact on your confidence levels. If you regularly use confident posture, gestures, and overall presence, you’ll start to actually feel more confident as a result.
Here are some tips for adopting more confident body language:
Maintain good posture. Stand and sit up straight. Avoid slouching or caving your chest. Keep your chin level. Good posture communicates assurance and self-respect.
Take up space. Avoid folding your arms over your chest or hunching your shoulders. Spread out and take up room to convey confidence and comfort.
Use steady, open gestures. Move your hands and arms freely but avoid fidgeting. Open gestures like palms facing up are welcoming.
Make firm eye contact. Look people in the eyes when interacting or speaking. It shows confidence and builds connection. But avoid staring, which is aggressive.
Slow down your movements. Rushed movements convey anxiety and overcompensation. Slower gestures read as calm and purposeful.
Loosen up. Avoid rigid, tense muscles. Relax your body language so you look poised rather than uptight.
Perfect your posture. Stand up straight, roll back your shoulders, and lift your chin slightly. This “power pose” boosts confidence.
Adjusting your body language is one of the fastest ways to feel—and project—more confidence instantly. With practice, these physical tweaks will become natural habit.
Banish Negative Self-Talk
The way you talk to yourself impacts your confidence immensely. Negative self-talk like doubt, worry, or self-criticism sabotages your self-assurance.
Catch yourself when negative thoughts arise. Halt the mental digression and deliberately shift to positive, empowering inner dialogue. Useful techniques include:
Swap criticisms for compliments. Turn “I’m so disorganized” into “I’m great at improvising and thinking on my feet.” Give yourself praise.
Spin worries into solutions. Change “This project is so overwhelming” into “I’ll just focus on one step at a time.” Address concerns constructively.
Turn failures into lessons. Alter “I really blew that presentation” into “I learned valuable skills from the experience.” Reframe setbacks as growth.
Temper doubt with facts. Change “I’m not qualified for this job” into “I meet 90% of the qualifications, so I’ll apply.” Stay objective.
Reword perfectionism. Swap “I have to do this flawlessly” with “I’ll do the best I can and learn for next time.” Allow room for growth.
With consistent effort, these subtle mental shifts rewire how you think about yourself. Over time, you can make positive self-talk an ingrained reflex.
Master Confident Body Language
Body language makes up the majority of your communication impact, according to UCLA research. If you regularly use confident body language, you’ll start to feel more self-assured as a result. Master these tips:
Posture – Stand and sit tall with your shoulders back. Keep your chin parallel to the floor.
Eye contact – Look people in the eyes when speaking or listening. This builds rapport.
Gestures – Use open motions, like palms upturned. Avoid fidgeting or tense muscles.
Space – Take up more room by spreading out. Don’t cower or shrink away.
Voice – Speak clearly at a strong volume. Vary your pace and inflection for interest.
Walk – Move smoothly and deliberately, not rushed. Look ahead, not down.
With practice, confident physical presence will come naturally. The more you embody self-assurance, the more you’ll actually feel it.
Visualize Success
Using visualization can boost confidence significantly because it activates the same neural pathways that real, direct experience would. Vividly picturing yourself succeeding primes your brain for confident performance.
Practice visualization by imagining a scenario in rich detail. For example:
- Giving a presentation at work and engaging your audience
- Calmly answering tough interview questions
- Easily chatting with a crush at a party
- Receiving a promotion and high-fives from colleagues
Really put yourself into the scene. See what you would see, hear what you would hear, and feel how you would feel while accomplishing something successfully.
Do this mental rehearsal regularly to program your brain for confident action. Visualization also builds belief in your abilities so you feel up to tackling challenges.
Learn to Like Yourself
Perhaps the most foundational confidence-builder is learning to like yourself just as you are. Doing so cuts you free from external validation and negative comparisons. From there, believing in yourself and your value becomes natural.
How can you start liking yourself more?
Celebrate signature strengths. Reflect on your stand-out qualities and gifts. Feel appreciation for these unique contributions only you can give.
Recognize your worth, apart from achievements. You are inherently worthy as a person, without needing to accomplish or produce anything.
Surround yourself with supporters. Cut toxic people from your life. Spend time with those who celebrate and believe in you.
Quiet your inner critic. Notice negative self-talk without engaging or believing it. Replace criticisms with encouragement.
Forgive yourself for mistakes. Setbacks and failures are part of the human experience. Keep going with self-compassion.
Appreciate all that you are. Beyond surface qualities, cherish your core values, passions, and quirks. These make you you.
Regular self-reflection builds self-understanding and appreciation. This foundation empowers you to project confidence grounded in your inner truth.
Improve Your Decision-Making Skills
Hemming, hawing, and beating yourself up about choices diminishes confidence. On the flip side, improving your decision-making breeds self-trust.
Here are 4 keys:
Weigh pros and cons. List out the benefits and drawbacks of each option. Also check your motivations – why you want what you want.
Consider different angles. Adopt different mindsets like pessimistic, optimistic, neutral. Or imagine advising a friend.
Trust your intuition. That gut check comes from your subconscious analysis. Go with what “feels right.”
Commit after deciding. Follow through with confidence, without overthinking or second-guessing. Adjust course later if needed.
With these skills, you’ll act more decisively while also feeling assured that you made the best choice possible. This breeds confidence in your judgment.
Learn a Valuable Skill
When you practice and improve an ability that matters to you, your self-confidence naturally grows. Pick something you’re motivated about, whether it’s:
- Public speaking
- A musical instrument
- Martial arts
- Coding
- A foreign language
- Drawing
- Event planning
- Budgeting and money management
Choose a skill that aligns with your personality, interests, and goals. Consider skills that would serve your career aspirations or enrich your hobbies and friendships.
Set milestones and practice the skill regularly. Over time, reaching landmarks builds proof of your expanding capabilities. These tangible results actively strengthen your self-belief.
Take More Calculated Risks
Within your comfort zone, everything feels doable because it’s familiar territory. But staying within this safe bubble prevents confidence growth.
Expand your zone by deliberately and gradually taking more risks:
- Ask for the raise or promotion you want
- Introduce yourself to new people instead of waiting for them
- Speak your mind when you normally wouldn’t
- Try a daring hobby like surfing or rock climbing
- Travel solo out of state or country
- Serve as the leader on a new project
Start small if needed, with risks that push you without overwhelming you. With each success, you build proof that you can handle uncertainty and thrive under pressure.
This builds self-assurance and courage to keep stretching. As your comfort zone expands, so does your confidence in yourself.
Speak with Authority on Topics You Know Well
When conversing about subjects you’re knowledgeable and passionate about, you naturally exude confidence through your tone, delivery, and body language.
You can leverage this to build confidence in social settings:
- When meeting new people, steer the conversation toward your areas of expertise. Discuss hobbies, skills, career experience you excel in.
- Prepare interesting facts, anecdotes, and talking points ahead of time. These make you a engaging expert.
- Speak clearly and vary your tone and pacing. Avoid filler words like “um” or “like.”
- Make steady eye contact. Nod, smile, and respond to show you’re listening too.
- Use open, illustrative gestures. Avoid distracting fidgeting.
Commanding discussions in your wheelhouse will become a confidence booster. You reinforce your own abilities and credibility. With practice, this vocal confidence will extend into other conversations.
Embrace a Growth Mindset
According to psychologist Carol Dweck, adopting a growth mindset is key for building confidence. The growth mentality recognizes that:
- Your abilities and intelligence can be developed through practice.
- You learn valuable lessons from failure and critique.
- With dedication, you can get better at almost anything.
Contrast this with the fixed mindset that abilities are innate and static. This harmful mentality crushes confidence and motivation to improve.
The next time you’re feeling low confidence from a setback or shortcoming, remind yourself:
- This is not a permanent deficiency, just a skill I haven’t developed yet.
- My mistakes show me what I need to improve.
- With effort, I can become more capable over time.
Drawing inspiration from others’ success stories can also inspire a growth mindset. Their paths show that progress is possible with dedicated effort.
Match Your Appearance to Your Confidence Goals
When you look sharp, you’re primed to feel sharp too. Make sure your appearance aligns with the image you want to project:
Dress the part. Wear clothes that make you feel pulled-together and profesh. Opt for dark colors for credibility and light ones to convey friendliness.
Good posture. Stand straight with shoulders back. This projects assurance and capability.
Well-groomed. Looking polished shows you care about yourself and your presentation.
Game face. Smile naturally and make good eye contact. A warm, confident facial expression.
Personal style. Wear your hair, makeup, accessories, etc in ways that match your personality. Feel like your authentic self.
Take an honest look in the mirror and assess: Does my look support the confidence I want? If not, make some upgrades. You’ll look and feel more self-assured.
Compliment Yourself
To become more confident, start believing in yourself like your loved ones believe in you. Compliment yourself and celebrate your wins, large and small.
Treat yourself like you’d treat someone you care about. Hype up your accomplishments, cheering yourself on.
Give yourself some appreciation for your unique qualities too. What do you admire about yourself? What compliments do you deserve to hear?
Getting comfortable directly praising yourself will feel awkward at first. But over time, it instills self-pride and confidence. In balance, of course – stay humble even as you celebrate awesomeness.
Keep a Confidence Journal
Committing your growth to paper reinforces and accelerates confidence gains. Keep a dedicated journal to record:
- Progress and wins. Track achievements and responses. Re-read when you need a confidence boost.
- Compliments. Write down praise, feedback, or admiring comments you receive. Revisit and believe them!
- Growth moments. Describe situations that built confidence through learning or success.
- Positive self-talk. Jot down empowering affirmations. Read them back when you’re feeling unsure.
- Gratitude. Note things that boost your confidence – supportive people, opportunities, personal strengths.
The journaling habit builds self-awareness and undeniable evidence of your evolution. Whenever impostor syndrome creeps in, your journal offers proof of how far you’ve come.
Address Areas of Insecurity
It’s difficult to feel truly confident if you harbor shame, worry, or inadequacy around a certain area. Are there skills you hide? Topics you avoid? Fears holding you back?
Building confidence requires facing your vulnerabilities:
Determine the source. Why do you feel inadequate in this area? Is it lack of practice, perfectionism, or distorted self-perception?
Take small steps out of your comfort zone. Slowly get exposure to build competency. Each success will expand your confidence.
Maintain perspective. The area of struggle is just one part of your larger picture. It doesn’t determine your self-worth.
Be patient. Growth happens slowly. Focus on progress, not perfection.
Enlist help if needed. There’s no shame in asking for support, education, or counseling.
Even long-time insecurities can transform with consistent effort. You might end up loving parts of yourself you used to hide.
Find External Confidence Boosts
While the root of confidence comes from within, some external sources can provide a helpful boost:
Music. Create pre-game playlists with empowering, energizing songs to get hyped. Upbeat music activates the brain’s confidence centers.
Fashion and beauty. Wear items that make you feel pulled-together. Consider this your costume to feel the part.
Posture. Stand tall with chin up and shoulders back. Power posing sends chemical signals of confidence.
Mantras. Have some go-to phrases locked and loaded like “I’ve got this!” or “I’ll figure it out.” Repeat them when you need self-assurance.
Friends. Spend time with people who believe in and hype you up. Their assurance rubs off.
Settings. If a location fuels your confidence, frequent it when possible. For example, your favorite gym or coffee shop.
These tricks give an immediate shot of confidence when you need it. But don’t rely on them alone. Inner confidence comes from within.
Adopt a Power Voice
Your actual voice – your tone, volume, cadence – significantly impacts how confident you sound. Follow these tips to harness your power voice:
- Speak clearly and loudly enough to be heard. But don’t yell. Clear enunciation and projection conveys confidence.
- Vary tone and pacing. Monotone puts listeners to sleep. Fluctuate your voice energetically to engage them.
- Stand or sit tall when speaking. Good posture optimizes your vocal power and confidence.
- Breathe deeply before responding. This calms nerves so your voice doesn’t shake or waver. Slow down if needed.
- Smile as you speak. You’ll literally sound warmer and more engaging when your facial muscles are smiling.
Record yourself and listen back. Keep practicing until your voice radiates the confidence you want to put forth. The more you use your power voice, the more natural it will become.
Boost Competence Through Practice
Nothing builds confidence like legitimate skill and competence. Set goals to grow concrete abilities that matter to your life and career:
- Public speaking / presentations
- A second language
- Technical skills like software or accounting
- Creative talents like writing or drawing
- Physical feats like running a 5K
- Social skills like networking or interviewing
Break each larger goal into smaller, incremental milestones so you have clear path for consistent growth. And focus on the journey, not perfection.
With each new ability mastered, your confidence muscle strengthens. You gain faith in your capacity to learn and improve. This mentality powers you through bigger challenges down the road.
Adopt a Power Stance
Much like power voices, certain postures actually help ignite feelings and displays of confidence through chemical responses in the brain.
Try stepping into one of these power stances when you need a confidence surge:
- Stand with legs shoulder width, hands on hips. Elbows out, chest forward. Take up space.
- Clasp hands behind head, elbows out. Open up your chest and stretch your spine.
- Lean forward on a table, palms down. Think authoritative business meeting mode.
- Hands on hips, feet wide, slight crouch. A bold yet centered athletic pose.
Hold the pose for 2 minutes while taking deep power breaths. The empowering neurochemicals will start to flow.
Celebrate Small Wins
You don’t have to wait for major milestones to give yourself a confidence boost. Small wins build self-assurance over time.
Make a habit of acknowledging and appreciating your daily or weekly victories, both personal and professional. These could include:
- Starting a difficult conversation
- Working out 3x this week
- Reaching inbox zero at work
- Learning a new skill through online classes
- Sending invoices on time to clients
- Sticking to your budget
- Making a healthy meal at home
- Hitting your step goal for the day
Choose 1-2 small wins each day or week to consciously celebrate. Write them in your confidence journal or share with someone supportive. This builds pride, motivation, and the confidence to keep reaching higher.
Learn to Accept Compliments
It’s essential to build confidence through internal validation, not external praise. But accepting compliments gracefully is still an art to master.
When praised, avoid:
- Brushing it off defensively or joking
- Qualifying with a “but…” statement
- Insisting you don’t deserve it
- Over-apologizing for perceived faults
- Making it about luck or other factors
Instead, respond with simple appreciation:
- “Thank you, I appreciate you saying that.”
- “That’s so kind of you to notice!”
- “I worked hard on that, so I’m glad you enjoyed it.”
Accept the gift of praise with gratitude, even if you’re uncomfortable. This builds confidence in your abilities and value. Plus, it encourages others to continue showing you support.
Connect with Supportive Community
Surrounding yourself with growth-oriented, positive people bolsters confidence in several key ways:
- Their belief in you is contagious. It’s easier to believe in yourself around those who do.
- Seeing them tackle challenges shows you what you’re capable of too.
- Their cheers, advice, and camaraderie help you persist in reaching your goals.
Seek out role models, peers, and groups who uplift you. Bond over shared interests and aspirations. Look for those committed to self-improvement. Distance yourself from toxic people dragging you down.
Choose relationships that make you feel empowered, capable, and excited to pursue your potential. Their assuredness lifts you higher.
Set Goals Just Beyond Your Reach
Reaching the same old goals within your comfort zone can breed complacency. True confidence growth happens by consistently stretching just beyond what feels doable.
Set goals that require you to develop new skills or belief in yourself. The sweet spot is around 80% probability of success, leaving a 20% stretch zone to really challenge yourself.
A few goal examples that fit the formula:
- Volunteering to lead a complex work project
- Training to run a race one mile longer than your best
- Approaching your dream employer at a networking event
- Taking an introductory improv comedy or dance class
With each stretch goal you tackle, you expand what you know you’re capable of. This builds undeniable confidence in yourself, from the inside out.
Focus on Contribution, Not Validation
Needing others’ approval and validation undermines confidence. It gives your power away instead of owning it.
Shift your priority to the value you can add, not praise you can win. Orient toward contributing meaningfully.
Ask yourself:
- How can I help people through my role?
- What useful skills and insights can I share?
- How can I ease someone’s life today?
When your motivation is purpose-first, confidence follows as a natural side effect. You know your worth comes from living your values, not others’ validation.
This mentality helps insulate you from the ups and downs of external opinions. Your confidence stems from making a difference.
Practice Public Speaking
For many, public speaking tops the list of nerve-wracking activities. But it’s also one of the fastest ways to build confidence once mastered.
Start small if needed, with short, low-stakes speeches in safe settings. Over time, build up to bigger crowds and challenges.
A few ways to practice:
- Give presentations at school or work. Volunteer to report on projects.
- Speak up more at meetings or community events.
- Join a public speaking group like Toastmasters. These provide structured practice.
- Try storytelling events, poetry readings, or open mic nights.
Each success primes your brain to expect triumph next time. Before you know it, anxiety morphs into energized excitement.
Reward Risks That Pay Off
Taking strategic risks expands your comfort zone, which is essential for confidence. Reward yourself when you take worthwhile chances:
- After mustering the courage to give bold input at a meeting, indulge in a fancy coffee.
- When your speculative article pitch gets approved, use the payment to support a fun weekend getaway.
- Treat yourself to a relaxing spa visit after quitting your stable job to join a startup.
- Buy those shoes you’ve been eyeing as a reward for approaching your crush at the gym.
Associate calculated risks with fun incentives. This positive conditioning makes it easier to act boldly next time.
Know you’ve always got a confidence-boosting reward waiting after you push your limits.
Volunteer for Leadership
Responsibilities like leading a team, project, or event push you to rise to the occasion with confidence. After all, others are counting on you to take charge.
Look for leadership opportunities that require you to develop skills just beyond your current level. For example:
- Captain your trivia, bowling, or softball team
- Lead your book club or other hobby group
- Chair a major work project or committee
- Organize a fundraiser or awareness event
- Coach a youth sports team
- Lead your student council or cheer squad
Stepping into leadership, even when it feels like a stretch, builds concrete proof of your growing capabilities. Keep raising your hand; confidence will follow.
Listen to Uplifting Podcasts
Immersing yourself in inspirational stories provides an uplifting confidence boost whenever you need it.
Load up your podcast queue with shows focused on:
- Personal development
- Entrepreneurship
- Empowering interviews
- Career strategy
- Creativity
Hearing other people’s stories of overcoming adversity, following daring dreams, and achieving growth awakens your own sense of possibility. Their assuredness lifts you up.
Tune into shows hosted by someone you’d aspire to emulate. Let their infectious confidence, wisdom, and enthusiasm fill your ears and rev up your motivation.
Adopt Your Superhero Pose
Wonder Woman has her fists planted on hips, chest forward. Spiderman crouches low, ready for action. What would your signature power pose be?
Choose a posture that makes you feel strong, brave, and ready to handle anything. Experiment with different active stances to find your superhero pose.
Channel it whenever you need an instant confidence infusion before a challenge:
- A job interview
- A difficult conversation
- Public speaking
- A first date
- The gym after time off
- A post-failure comeback
Strike the pose, hold for a minute or two. Feel your power, courage, and resolve surge throughout your body. You’ve got this!
Talk to Yourself with Compassion
Self-criticism shatters confidence. Counter it by cultivating a kind inner voice that supports you through challenges. Treat yourself with the compassion you would show a good friend.
Respond to struggles and failures by telling yourself:
- “You’ve got this. I believe in you.”
- “I know it hurts now but you’ll bounce back even stronger.”
- “You are enough. Your worth doesn’t change with results.”
- “Chin up. Brighter days are coming.”
- “You deserve to be proud of all your progress.”
Quiet your inner critic. Be the supportive voice you need, as if you’re your own closest cheerleader. Your confidence will start to reflect the encouragement you give yourself.
Make Confidence Your Only Goal
When confidence becomes your singular focus, it frees you from the pressure to perform perfectly or win the big prize.
How can you make confidence the main event?
- Sign up for a talent show purely for practice, with no need to win.
- Apply for your dream job to build interview skills, whether you land it or not.
- Network with industry experts to strengthen connections, without pushing for mentorship.
- Flirt at a bar just to exercise your courage, regardless of getting a number.
By declaring confidence the primary goal, performances and external measures become secondary. Taking the pressure off allows confidence to naturally emerge.
Match Your Outside to Your Inner Confidence
Before a confidence-testing event like an interview or presentation, embody the part visually too:
Dress sharp. Make sure your clothes align with the image you want to project. Feel credible and polished.
Stand tall. Use posture and stance to take up space. Avoid slouching or caving inward.
Chin up. Keep your chin parallel to the ground. This projects assuredness and engagement.
Shoulders back. Open up your chest and roll shoulders down and back. Feel poised and ready for action.
Make eye contact. Look people in the eyes when interacting. It builds connections and authority.
Relax your face. Ease tension in your facial muscles. Avoid frowning or furrowing your brow.
Let your outward appearance reflect your inner confidence goals. Soon the effect will become reality as you feel rising assurance.
Unplug from Comparisons
The confidence-shredding trap of comparing yourself to others is exacerbated by social media. Curate your feeds to celebrate your community without triggering comparison.
- Mute accounts that inspire envy more than inspiration.
- Avoid measuring your own milestones against others’ timelines. Everyone moves at their own pace.
- Focus on appreciating people’s talents vs competing with them. There’s no limit to success.
- Double tap posts that show people’s journeys, not just highlight reels.
- Reduce consumption if you regularly feel inadequate or diminished after scrolling.
Unfollow, mute, or take breaks from accounts causing more harm than good. Protect your confidence by minimizing comparisons.
Reframe Nerves as Excitement
The heightened energy rush of pre-performance nerves feels identical to excitement. You can leverage this to your confidence advantage by consciously reframing anxiety as eagerness.
Next time you feel nervous jitters before a challenge like a speech, test, or first date, tell yourself:
“I’m not anxious, I’m excited! My body is energizing me to perform at my best.”
“These jitters mean I care about doing well. My energy is helping me shine.”
“My adrenaline is pumping! I’m going to harness it to amaze everyone.”
“The butterflies in my stomach show I’m ready to take my game to the next level.”
With practice, this quick mental reframe conditions you to get pumped about high-pressure situations, not paralyzed. Nerves become your confidence rocket fuel.
Develop a Skill Outside Your Norm
Pushing beyond your comfort zone is key for confidence growth. Develop expertise in a skill completely outside your wheelhouse to prove to yourself how adaptable you are.
If you’re more tech and numbers focused, try:
- Public speaking
- Improv comedy
- Art like painting or pottery
- Dance or modern movement
Or if you’re more creative and people focused, go for:
- Coding
- Video editing
- Budgeting and money management
- A technical instrument like guitar
Immerse yourself in this foreign skill for a set period of time like 90 days. See it as a fun experiment, with no need to be perfect. You might just discover latent talents! And you’ll expand your belief in what you’re capable of.
Record Yourself
Seeing and hearing yourself on video offers valuable insights into how confident you actually look and sound. Use recordings to celebrate wins and identify improvement areas:
** Speeches or presentations:** Review what engages your audience vs what falls flat. Refine your delivery.
** Job interviews:** Notice filler words, posture, etc. to polish for next time.
** Conversations:** What impressions are you giving? Do you interrupt, sound unsure?
** Your normal workday:** Consider energy level, facial expressions, tone – are these projecting confidence?
Avoid harsh self-criticism. The goal is expanding your self awareness to ultimately improve. With practice, the camera will reveal increasing poise, ease, and confidence.
Assume You’ll Perform Well
To cultivate confidence, adopt an attitude of positive expectation. Assume you’ll perform well, relate well, and impress people.
Think through upcoming interactions or tasks and imagine how you’ll thrive:
- Stay cool under pressure
- Add unique value
- Impress everyone with skills
- Charm and connect with people
See past difficulties falling into place. Whenuncertainty strikes, return to your mental image of succeeding.
This attitude pre-programs your brain’s expectations and readiness to perform confidently. You prime the pump for self-fulfilling prophecy.
Channel Your Role Models
Picture someone you admire for their self-assuredness. How would they tackle challenges you’re facing?
Imagine yourself embodying their unshakable confidence:
- How would they speak, move, and act? Adopt their physical presence.
- What inspiring inner dialogue would they use? Internalize their mental voice.
- How would they reframe doubts and anxietions? Put their perspective to work.
Choose role models relevant to your situation like a confident public speaker, job interviewer, or brave entrepreneur. Put yourself in their shoes. Let their assured vibe rub off on you.
Know you already have everything you need inside. The influence of positive role models can help draw it out. Their confidence becomes a mirror for your own.
Accentuate the Positive
To feel more confidence, take off the negative filter and become hyper-aware of positive experiences instead.
Make a daily habit of noticing good things:
- Compliments, encouragement, praise
- Wins and milestones – send yourself a congratulatory text!
- Examples of progress
- Admiration or smiles from other people
- Small pleasures like sunshine or a good song
The brain tends to filter for threats, so you must consciously direct it to see positivity and assets. Spotlight your confidence boosters.
Shining the spotlight on your successes trains your brain over time to automatically perceive the good. Confidence flows from your new positive perception.
Give Back to Others
Using your strengths to uplift others has a natural confidence-building effect. When you give your gifts freely, you affirm your own worth.
Look for confidence-building ways to contribute behind the scenes:
- Share insider knowledge with new hires/students
- Turn your skills into volunteer work
- Post inspiring content that motivates others
- Provide thoughtful feedback to help people improve
- Recommend collaborators for exciting projects
The act of adding value reinforces your own merit. Generosity and confidence go hand in hand. When you lift others up, you rise too.
Track Confidence Gains
To motivate and chart your progress, track concrete markers of confidence growth like:
- Completed stretch goals
- Compliments received
- Vulnerabilities faced
- Situations handled calmly
- Speaking up moments
- Skills mastered
- Leadership roles assumed
- New hobbies or activities tried
- Wise inner dialogue adopted
Over time these tallies prove, through measurable behavior change, that you are growing more confident. They provide undeniable evidence when you doubt yourself.
Celebrate new additions to your confidence scorecard. Let it propel you to keep striving. The numbers don’t lie – you’re making real strides.
Engage in “Power Posing”
Certain postures can ignite feelings and displays of confidence by sparking chemical and hormonal changes, according to research by Amy Cuddy.
For an instant shot of poise and assurance, try stepping into one of these “power poses” for 2 minutes before a stressful situation like a speech or interview:
- Standing with hands on hips and legs wide – The classic Wonder Woman
- Sitting with legs up on table, hands clasped behind head
- Standing tall with arms raised overhead
- Sitting leaning forward with hands on table
Let your body language shape your brain chemistry. The powerful postures will send signals of confidence straight to your nervous system. Use when you need a quick boost.
Be Prepared, Not Perfect
Striving for absolute perfection undermines confidence. The better goal is being prepared – smart, capable, and ready to handle what comes.
Preparedness beats perfection every time when building resilient confidence.
Aim to:
- Know your material deeply vs obsessing over tiny details
- Have go-to stories and talking points ready vs scripting every word
- Research expected questions vs memorizing answers word-for-word
- Relax and focus before going on vs getting overwhelmed by pressure
When you know you’ve prepared well, you can step into any performance with justified faith in yourself. No need to be perfect when prepared.
Challenge Limiting Beliefs
Examine any long-held, negative beliefs you have about yourself that undermine confidence:
“I’m not smart enough.”
“I’ll never reach that goal.”
“I’m too shy and awkward.”
“I’m bad at speaking in public.”
Now push back on these destructive stories:
- Are they really 100% true all the time or just an old assumption?
- How could you reframe it more accurately?
- What evidence refutes it? Think of examples.
- How would someone who really believes in you view this instead?
Keep challenging until the toxic belief loosens its grip. Free yourself from old, limiting falsehoods that no longer serve the person you’ve become.
Celebrate Other’s Successes
Confidence grows when you stop seeing success as a limited pie and start realizing there’s enough for everyone.
Get in the habit of sincerely celebrating when others around you achieve wins, land promotions, meet goals, etc.
- Send congratulatory messages
- Ask them to share lessons learned you could apply
- Offer to collaborate with them on future projects
- Let them know you’re proud of and inspired by them
Take joy in their accomplishments instead of feeling threatened. There are endless possibilities for everyone.
This mentality builds confidence in 3 key ways:
- You feel genuinely happy instead of jealous.
- You reinforce that success is possible with dedication.
- You know your worth isn’t diminished just because someone else shines.
Their victories don’t limit yours; they reveal that greatness is unlimited. There’s plenty of confidence to go around.
Correct Negative Self-Talk
To master confident inner dialogue, you must first notice when negativity arises. Common themes include:
- I can’t do this
- I’m not ready
- They won’t like me
- I don’t deserve this
- I’ll just mess up
- I’m a fraud
Catch these anxious thoughts as soon as they occur. Halt the digression. Deliberately replace it with empowering affirmations:
- I’ve got this!
- I’m prepared and ready.
- They’ll appreciate what I bring.
- I deserve this opportunity.
- I’m going to embrace the journey.
- I belong here.
With practice, you can turn negative self-talk into a cue to instead give yourself confidence-boosting encouragement.
Set Mini-Goals
Pursuing a major long-term goal like changing careers or starting a business can seem so daunting that your motivation crumbles.
Maintain confidence by setting manageable mini-goals along the way.
For example, with the goal of starting a bakery:
- Take a baking class once a week for 3 months
- Research costs and requirements for licensed kitchens
- Reach out to 5 local business owners for advice
- Enter a baking competition for feedback on your recipes
Check these stepping stones off one by one. Each victory buoys confidence that you’re making progress, even when the big dream still feels distant. Celebrate how far you’ve come.
Momentum builds as each milestone propels you closer to your ultimate target. Plus, the smaller scale helps each step feel doable, keeping motivation high.
Learn Something New
When you commit to actively learning, you cultivate a mindset that believes in constant growth and unlimited potential. This powerfully boosts confidence.
Make learning something fresh a regular habit:
- Take a class like painting, improv comedy, coding.
- Learn skills on YouTube – photography, juggling, calligraphy.
- Read books on topics you don’t know much about.
- Immerse yourself in a documentary series about history, nature, art.
- Attend lectures, speeches, conferences outside your niche.
- Tour museums and cultural sites as you travel.
The pursuit of knowledge sparks neural connections and reminds you that awesome abilities can always be cultivated.
With an earnest learner’s mindset, you hold the unshakable confidence that growth is always within your reach.
Perform for Fun
Take the pressure off performances by doing them purely for enjoyment occasionally, with no other stakes or goals.
Performing just for the love it is incredibly freeing and confidence-boosting:
- Sing karaoke without caring how you sound. Just have fun with friends.
- Enter a noncompetitive art show without worrying about sales or reception.
- Play a sport you’re mediocre at, for the joy of it. No need to track score.
- Do an open mic with a silly comedy skit, unconcerned with laughs.
By temporarily taking excellence off the table, performances become celebrations rather than tests. You get to express yourself, minus the perfectionism.
This builds confidence by reminding you that talent has intrinsic worth beyond external measures. Sharpen skills for skill’s sake.
Adjust Your Body Language
Before a confidence-testing situation like a speech or interview, embody confident body language:
- Stand and sit tall with shoulders back. This projects assurance.
- Make steady eye contact without staring. This builds rapport.
- Use open gestures and relaxed muscles. Avoid fidgeting.
- Take slightly more space by spreading out. Don’t shrink away.
- Lean in toward interaction partners. This shows engagement.
- Slow your movements. Rushed looks anxious.
Adjusting your physical presence shapes your mindset. As your body acts confident, belief follows. Fake it until you become it!
Celebrate Small Wins
You don’t have to wait for major milestones to give yourself a confidence boost. Small daily or weekly victories build self-assurance over time.
Make it a habit to acknowledge and appreciate your minor triumphs like:
- Speaking up at a meeting
- Working out 3 times in a week
- Learning a new skill from an online class
- Sticking to your monthly budget
- Hitting your step goal for the day
- Making progress on a big project
Choose 1-2 “tiny wins” to celebrate each day or week. Write them down or tell someone. This builds pride, motivation, and the confidence to keep reaching higher.
Adopt an ‘I Can’ Mindset
Cultivate a mental framework oriented around possibility versus limitations. Affirm that you can learn, achieve, and contribute meaningfully.
Prime your mind for confidence by focusing on:
- I can figure this out
- I can handle what comes
- I can make this happen
- I can help people
- I can improve with practice
- I can add value
- I can learn the skills
This empowering mantra builds a “YES” reflex in your brain. You orient toward possibility and room to grow vs. dwelling on “can’ts.”
Approach each day eager to expand what you can do. Confidence flows from embracing an “I can!” mindset.
Reframe Anxiety as Excitement
Nervousness and excitement produce nearly identical physiological responses. Reframe pre-performance jitters as positive anticipation.
When you feel anxious before a speech, test, or challenge, tell yourself:
“This anxiety just means I’m getting excited to shine!”
“These jitters are going to give me the energy to do my best work!”
“My shaky hands mean I’m ready to ace this!”
“My heart is racing because I care about nailing this.”
This quick mental reframe conditions you to get pumped up instead of rattled when stakes feel high. Anxiety becomes your confidence rocket fuel.
Ask for Feedback
Asking for constructive critiques might seem counterintuitive for confidence. But feedback highlights areas to improve and affirms strengths you can build on.
Solicit it from:
- Mentors, teachers, more experienced colleagues
- Peers who can share an inside perspective
- Friends and family who know you well
- People you serve or work with like customers
Ask thoughtfully:
- Can you share suggestions for improving X?
- What could I do better next time?
- What resonated most from my presentation?
With feedback, you pinpoint pathways for getting even stronger. This boosts confidence that you can close gaps and leverage assets.
Find Your Dominant Color
Notice how certain colors make you feel – bolder? Sharper? Softened? Find a dominant color that instantly boosts your confidence.
Experiment to find your power color. Red often ignites passion, blue conveys trustworthiness, but go with whatever makes YOU feel like your best self.
Incorporate this color strategically:
- Feature it in your key interview outfit
- Paint a wall or get decor accents
- Buy a statement piece like a bright blazer
- Make it your signature lip or nail shade
Let your confidence color become a personal symbol of the effect you want to have on the world. Wear it proudly like your superhero cape.
Talk to Yourself Like a Friend
Quiet your inner critic by cultivating a kinder inner voice, like you’re advising your closest friend. Give yourself the compassionate guidance you deserve.
Respond to setbacks and struggles with friend-like reassurance:
- You’ve got this! I believe in you.
- We all mess up sometimes. I know you will bounce back.
- I’m so proud of how hard you’re working. Please know you are enough.
- This sucks right now but brighter days are coming! Let me know how I can help.
Practice mindfully until supportive self-talk becomes natural. The kinder you are to yourself, the more your confidence will rise. You’ve got this!
Take 5 Deep Breaths
When you feel anxious, overwhelmed, or doubtful, take 5 slow, full breaths to instantly shift into a calmer, self-assured state.
Inhale deeply, sending the breath all the way down to your belly. Exhale gently and fully. Repeat this 5 times.
Deep breathing taps your parasympathetic nervous system, lowering cortisol and anxiety levels almost instantly.
Use this reset when you need to:
- Quiet racing thoughts
- Lower a pounding heart
- Loosen up tense muscles
- Center yourself before a challenge
Carry calm confidence into any high-pressure situation, armed with just your breath. This portable reset works anywhere.
Talk to Yourself Positively
Self-talk shapes your beliefs and expectations. Carry confidence by deliberately using empowering inner dialogue, especially during challenges. Tell yourself:
- You’ve got this!
- Stay focused. You know what to do.
- Tune out doubt. Trust yourself.
- You are prepared and ready for this.
- Challenges make you stronger.
- Success starts with believing in yourself.
- You are capable of achieving great things.
Resist every negative thought with a forceful positive one. Fake it until you make it! With consistent effort, this habit truly ignites motivation and self-belief from the inside out.
Make Confidence Your Only Goal
Take the pressure off needing specific results or validation by making confidence your one and only goal for any activity.
Examples:
- Play sports for the sheer pride of putting yourself out there. Don’t worry about winning.
- Take the stage purely to build comfort performing. No need to nail every note.
- Flirt just for practice being bold. It’s ok if you don’t get their number.
- Apply for your dream job for interview experience. Even if you don’t get it now, you’re building skills.
With confidence as the entire point, performances and outcomes become bonus side effects rather than tests. This frees you up for fearless effort.
Boost Your Body Language
Use assertive body language to externally project the confidence you want to feel internally.
- Head up, shoulders back – takes up space
- Relaxed gaze – makes eye contact without staring
- Open posture – don’t cross arms tightly
- Slow smooth movements – conveys calm capability
- Occasional gestures – punctuates words
- Lean slightly forward – shows engagement
Fake it until the effect becomes real. With daily practice, confident body language habits will boost your subconscious mindset tremendously.
Find Humor in Mistakes
When you mess up or fall short, avoid berating yourself. Have a sense of humor instead! Laugh about slip-ups and find the comedy in failures.
Look for humor in things like:
- Tripping on stage during a speech
- Forgetting important names
- Spilling coffee on your white shirt
- Getting rejected for a date in an absurd way
- Locking your keys in the car (again!)
- Sending an unintentionally sassy email reply
With practice, you’ll learn to shake off embarrassments and setbacks with a smile. They show you’re pushing your comfort zone! Blunders are all part of the journey.
Challenge Critical Self-Talk
The way you talk about yourself privately impacts your public confidence immensely. Notice when an unhelpful inner critic arises, then deliberately talk back.
Common critiques include:
- Who do you think you are?
- You’re not qualified.
- You’ll probably just fail.
- What if they don’t like you?
- You’re too awkward to come across well.
Counter by responding compassionately:
- I know I’m capable and worthy. My unique skills add value.
- My non-traditional path is what makes me valuable.
- If I fall short, I’ll learn for next time. The journey matters.
- I’ll share my authentic self and see who appreciates it.
- A little awkwardness shows I’m real. That’s endearing.
Don’t let destructive inner voices undermine what you KNOW to be true about yourself deep down. You’ve got this!
Focus on the Journey
Making confidence about the outcome sets you up for disappointment. Instead, fully embrace the process and growth that happen along the way.
Refocus on enjoying:
- Learning new skills out of your comfort zone
- Getting to know mentors with valuable guidance to share
- Immersing yourself in preparation and practice
- Staying sincerely open to feedback and critique
- Documenting your progress and insights gained
- Meeting others who share your dreams and struggles
With your sights on the road ahead versus just the destination, confidence flows from wringing every lesson from the experience. Relish all of it.
Cultivate Self-Compassion
To become your own biggest booster, talk to yourself with the gentle encouragement you’d show a good friend.
Respond to setbacks and missteps with compassion:
- You’re only human – be kind to yourself when you make mistakes.
- Keep perspective – this struggle is just one thread of the bigger tapestry of your life.
- Stay hopeful – you are resilient and things will get better.
- Celebrate progress – focus on how far you’ve come, not how far is left.
The more patient and caring you are with yourself, the more confidence will grow. You deserve that kindness.
Make a Confidence Playlist
Music has a powerful effect on motivation, mood and mindset. Make a playlist of songs that ignite your inner spark of confidence and courage.
Some song features that boost confidence:
- Empowering lyrics – messages of believing in yourself.
- Upbeat, energetic music – fast tempo gets you revved up.
- Powerful vocals – bold, anthemic singing you can emulate.
- Driving rhythm – steady beat sounds like marching forward.
- Emotional swell – crescendos transport you.
Queue up your boldest, most inspiring songs. Press play whenever you need a soundtrack to summon your inner confidence.
Focus on Contribution, Not Validation
Chasing validation from others is exhausting and confidence-sapping. Shift your priority to the value you can provide.
- How can I help people through my role?
- What useful skills and insight can I share?
- How can I make someone’s day better?
When you orient toward giving versus getting, confidence becomes a byproduct, not the goal. Self-assurance flows from living your values and purpose.
Approval loses its power over you. Your worth doesn’t rise or fall with each compliment. Confidence stems from making a difference.
Be Prepared, Not Perfect
Striving for flawless performances undermines sustainable confidence. Aim to be prepared instead.
Preparedness means:
- You know your material deeply.
- You have stories and talking points at the ready.
- You researched expected questions.
- You focused mentally beforehand.
- You practiced essential skills.
With preparedness, you earn the confidence that you can handle what comes your way. No need to be perfect when you’re prepared.
Show up ready to listen, learn, and lean into the experience. That’s all that matters.
Catch Compliments
Compliments often fluster us. We deflect praise or insist it’s undeserved. But warmly receiving compliments builds confidence in your gifts.
Practice responding gracefully:
- Thank you, that means a lot to me.
- I appreciate you noticing that!
- You made my day with such kind words.
Don’t deny ortalk down compliments. Just accept them with simple gratitude.
This builds confidence in your abilities and value. It also encourages others to continue showing you support. Let praise lift you up!
Bond Over Shared Struggles
Knowing others relate to your challenges makes them feel more manageable. Vulnerability builds connection.
Open up to peers who get what you’re going through:
- Intimidating transition to a new role
- Juggling parenting and a career
- Overcoming impostor syndrome
- Getting back into dating after divorce
- Changing careers to follow passion
Bond over having the same knot to untie. Trade strategies. Remind each other you’re not alone. Shared struggles make them feel surmountable.
Manage Perfectionism
For perfectionists, anything short of flawless feels like failure, crushing confidence. But chasing perfectionism is exhausting and unsustainable.
Try this instead:
- Set reasonable expectations. Challenge demands for unrealistic results.
- Celebrate small wins on the journey, not just the destination.
- Redefine success as learning and growth vs perfect scores.
- Forgive yourself when you fall short. Refocus on improvement.
- Embrace work-in-progress. Things don’t need to be totally polished to have value.
Stay productively driven without being self-punishing. Progress, not perfection, builds lasting confidence.
Catch Yourself Comparing
The habit of comparing yourself to others often happens unconsciously. Catch it in the act and halt the thought spiral before it undermines your confidence.
Notice when you start assessing yourself against what someone else has or does. Then stop the comparison spiral by asking yourself:
- Does contrasting myself to this person motivate and inspire me, or make me feel inadequate?
- Do I ultimately want what they have, or envy what they have?
- Does this comparison remind me I can grow in new directions too, or make me feel stuck?
- Does this motivate me to nurture my own talents, or make me devalue my gifts?
Shift the focus back to appreciating your own path. Their lane has no bearing on yours. Redirect your mind to maximize your potential versus minimzing yourself.
Embrace Constructive Criticism
Constructive feedback pinpoints where and how you can improve. This specificity is priceless for expanding your skills and confidence.
Turn critiques into opportunities by:
- Listening without interrupting or becoming defensive
- Asking clarifying questions to fully understand
- Considering if the criticism rings true before discounting it
- Thanking the person for caring enough to share their perspective
- Extracting the value rather than rejecting it all based on tone or delivery
Apply valid critique to get stronger. Discard unhelpful portions without self-judgment. Feedback helps you identify and close gaps. The boost in ability builds confidence.
Celebrate Small Milestones
Don’t wait for major achievements to acknowledge your progress. Small milestones build momentum.
Celebrate things like:
- Making time for self-care three times this week
- Finally organizing that messy closet
- Reaching out to a new networking contact
- Sticking to your exercise routine
- Hitting a savings goal
- Completing a difficult assignment
- Fixing a problem at work
Even tiny steps forward deserve appreciation. They prove you’re building the skills, habits and traits you seek one manageable piece at a time.
Take More Risks
Your comfort zone is familiar. But staying there prevents confidence growth, which happens by taking strategic risks.
Push your limits by:
- Sharing an unpopular opinion
- Applying for a reach role
- Approaching someone out of your league
- Speaking up without over-preparing
- Performing without a safety net
- Traveling solo out of state
Start small if needed, then keep stretching. With each risk you take and handle, your comfort zone expands. You gain courage to keep reaching beyond what feels easy.
The boost in boldness transfers to all areas of life. You believe in your ability to thrive amid uncertainty.
Recontextualize Anxiety as Excitement
It’s easy to mistake excitement for anxiety. Both produce rapid breathing, racing heart, sweaty palms.
Reframe pre-performance jitters as eagerness so nerves energize you.
Tell yourself:
“I’m not anxious, I’m excited! My body is gearing up to do this.”
“My heart is pumping because I care about nailing this.”
“This adrenaline rush means I’m passionate and ready. Let’s go!”
“My jittery energy will help me shine under pressure.”
With practice, nervous energy morphs into rocket fuel powering your confidence. Stop anxiety in its tracks by reinterpreting it as excitement.
Ask Others What They Admire About You
It’s easier to internalize your strengths when you hear affirmative feedback directly from those who know and care about you.
Ask colleagues, friends, mentors, “What do you admire about me?”
Listen intently to their answers without deflecting praise or self-deprecation. Write down what you hear.
When impostor syndrome creeps up, reread this list. Their objective admired traits reinforce your worth, talents, and uniqueness.
You’ll notice patterns in what people consistently value about you. These make excellent guideposts for what to lean into and amplify.
Adjust Your Self-Talk
Train yourself to respond to challenges and setbacks with empowering self-talk. Be your own confidence coach.
Common detrimental thoughts:
- I don’t know if I can do this
- I’ll probably mess this up
- They’re going to be disappointed in me
- I’m not qualified enough
Shift your inner dialogue to:
- I’ve got this! Let’s go!
- I will embrace this challenge.
- All I can do is try my best. That’s enough.
- My unique perspective is what makes me valuable.
Resist every doubtful thought with an encouraging one. With daily practice, this habit truly builds motivation and belief from the inside out.
Make a Confidence Vision Board
Visual reminders keep confidence top of mind. Make a vision board with images and phrases to motivate you.
Include:
- Photos of your role models
- Images representing skills you’re building
- Quotes about believing in yourself
- Pictures from your proudest moments
- Magazine cutouts that inspire you
- Affirmations written out
Display it where you’ll see it often. Let the visual infusion of confidence boost you each time you notice it.
Add to it when you need an extra shot of motivation. Use it to anchor yourself in the right mindset to own the day with assurance.
Develop Confident Nonverbal Cues
Use body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and other nonverbals to convey confidence without having to say it.
Display assuredness by:
- Standing tall with chin up
- Using open, relaxed gestures
- Making steady eye contact
- Sitting straight, not slouched
- Speaking clearly in energetic voice
- Laughing easily and smiling warmly
- Walking smoothly, not rushed
Try role-playing powerful poses and expressions until they feel natural. With practice they’ll become ingrained, boosting how you feel and come across.
Celebrate Wins, However Small
Major milestones are infrequent. Don’t wait for them to acknowledge your progress. Small daily and weekly wins also build your confidence.
Make it a habit to appreciate little triumphs like:
- Answering a tough question correctly
- Making time for self-care
- Hitting your step goal
- Finishing a hard workout
- Sticking to your monthly budget
- Reaching inbox zero at work
- Learning a new skill from an online class
Choose 1-2 “tiny wins” each day or week to privately celebrate. Write them down or tell someone. This builds pride and motivation to keep reaching higher.
Give Someone a Sincere Compliment
Giving thoughtful praise boosts your confidence just as much as receiving it. Complimenting others’ accomplishments or talents reinforces that success is abundant.
offer sincere compliments like:
- “I’m so impressed by your creativity on this project.”
- “You handled that situation so gracefully.”
- “I love your style. Where do you shop?”
- “You’re so good at explaining complex topics simply.”
When you recognize excellence in others, it subconsciously affirms that you too are capable of achieving great things. Confidence grows when you adopt an abundance versus scarcity mentality.
Lift them up with compliments. Their glow will illuminate your worth too. There’s plenty of light to go around.
Create a Brag Book
Combat impostor syndrome by collecting evidence of your achievements and praise. Refer to this brag book whenever you need a confidence boost.
Include:
- Thank you notes, compliments, positive feedback
- Performance reviews, test scores, report cards
- Letters, certificates, awards
- Pictures from proudest moments
- Completed projects, articles, artwork
- Screenshots of milestones and accomplishments
Tangible proof of your growth combats self-doubt. You can’t deny your progress when you hold it in your hands. Let your brag book replenish your confidence.
Make Confidence Your Only Goal
Take the pressure off needing specific results or validation. Make confidence your one and only goal for any activity.
Examples:
- Go on dates just for practice being bold. Don’t worry about sparks.
- Enter a talent show purely for experience. No need to win.
- Apply for your dream job to build interview skills, whether or not you get it.
- Join a recreational sports league for the pride of putting yourself out there. Don’t focus on scores.
With confidence as the entire point, performances and outcomes become bonus side effects rather than tests. This frees you up for fearless effort.
Catch Your Inner Critic
The way you privately talk about yourself impacts your public confidence immensely. Notice when your inner critic arises, then deliberately talk back.
Common critiques:
- Who do you think you are?
- You’re going to fail.
- You don’t deserve this.
- You’re too awkward and weird.
Counter with compassion:
- I’m worthy of love and belonging, just like anyone.
- If I fall short, it will still be a valuable learning experience.
- I absolutely deserve happiness and fulfillment.
- My quirks are what make me special.
Don’t let destructive inner voices undermine what you know to be true. You’ve got this!
Make a Power Pose Playlist
Certain songs ignite motivation, while others relax you. Make playlists to match desired moods and mindsets.
An empowering pre-confidence playlist could include:
- “Good as Hell” by Lizzo
- “Boss” by Fifth Harmony
- “Confident” by Demi Lovato
- “Roar” by Katy Perry
- “Run the World (Girls)” by Beyonce
- “Stronger” by Kanye West
Press play when you’re feeling doubt or fatigue. Let the beats, lyrics and melodies revive your inner swagger and assurance. The right songs can act like a power pose for your mind.
Redefine Success
Equating confidence with always winning or being #1 sets you up for pressure and disappointment. Redefine success to value learning, effort, and growth.
Measure success by:
- Pushing beyond your comfort zone
- Persisting through setbacks
- Finding joy in the preparation
- Building positive relationships
- Completing the experience wiser
- Discovering new talents in yourself
- Setting an example for others
- Feeling proud of your hard work
With this mentality, confidence flows from maximizing each experience versus needing flawless results. Progress nourishes self-belief. You already won by stepping up.
Squash Negative Comparisons
The habit of measuring yourself against others often happens unconsciously. Catch the thought and halt the spiral before it sabotages your confidence.
Notice when you start assessing yourself against someone else’s accomplishments, talents, or possessions. Stop the envy before it takes root by asking yourself:
- Does contrasting myself to them inspire me or diminish me?
- Do I want what they have, or simply admire what they have?
- Does this motivate me to nurture my own abilities? Or does it make me devalue my gifts?
Their success has no bearing on your self-worth or potential. Refocus on your path with a growth mindset. There’s no limit to what we all can achieve.
Chat with Your Future Confident Self
Your future self who has mastered self-assurance could offer wise advice. Imagining that conversation can guide you to more confident mindsets and habits.
Ask your future confident self:
- How did you overcome the doubts holding me back?
- What should I do in this uncertain situation?
- How can I reframe this failure into a lesson?
- What daily practices most improved your confidence?
Then listen to the answers. Hear how your future wise, vibrant self reminds you of your inherent worth and capabilities. Let their assuredness lift you up in the here and now.
Highlight Progress, Not Just Goals
It’s motivating to track goals you’re working towards. But don’t just focus on the target. Also highlight how far you’ve already come.
Celebrate progress like:
- Classes and books for new skills
- Positive changes in mindset
- Fears and obstacles overcome
- Compliments and feedback earned
- Specific improvements made
- New opportunities tackled
- Personal bests achieved
- Exciting things attempted for the first time
Give current victories just as much spotlight as future goals. Have confidence that the path itself brings growth, regardless of speed or ultimate destination.
Be Prepared, Not Perfect
Striving for flawless performances undermines confidence. Shift your goal to being prepared instead.
Preparedness means:
- Deeply understanding your material
- Having stories and talking points ready
- Researching expected questions
- Practicing essential skills
- Being focused and mentally ready
When prepared, you can trust that you’ll handle curveballs and shine as your authentic self. No need to be perfect when you’re prepared.
Catch Compliments Instead of Deflecting
It’s hard to accept praise when you doubt yourself. But catching compliments gracefully builds confidence.
When praised, avoid:
- Insisting you don’t deserve it
- Brushing it off as luck
- Discounting it as incorrect
- Making self-deprecating jokes
Instead, simply respond:
- Thank you, that means so much.
- I appreciate you saying that!
- You made my day with your kind words.
Don’t deny or deflect sincere compliments. Allow praise to lift you up. This builds confidence in your gifts.
Laugh More
Nothing diffuses tension and exudes confidence better than warm, unrestrained laughter. Take yourself less seriously.
Find humor in mistakes and awkward moments. Be easily amused at life’s quirks. Chuckle when you’re faced with absurdity.
A vibrant laugh makes you magnetic. People gravitate toward those who laugh easily and heartily. It signals you’re centered and genuine.
Seek out funny shows, games, and people. Don’t just LOL – cackle and guffaw. Draw humor from challenges to conquer stress.
Laughter’s contagious properties have a unique power to fill rooms and unite people. Harness it to instantly light up spaces and disarm tension.
Address Areas of Shame or Insecurity
We all pick up shame or insecurity around certain skills, activities, or traits at some point. Confronting those vulnerabilities is key for confidence.
Pinpoint anything you hide about yourself that causes doubt. Then gradually face those fears:
- Reveal struggle to trusted friends and ask for support.
- Take small steps to practice discomfort zone skills without judgment
- Share insecurities with a counselor or support group.
- Read about your struggles to expand perspective. Recognize you’re not alone.
- Challenge overly harsh self-criticism and replace it with encouragement.
With compassion and determination, you can shrink areas of shame until they no longer dominate your self-worth.
Catch Comparisons
It’s natural to occasionally compare yourself to others. The key is catching it quickly before insecurity takes root and undermines your confidence.
When you notice comparisons popping up, halt the thought spiral by asking yourself:
- Does contrasting myself to them motivate and inspire me, or diminish me?
- Does this remind me I can expand my skills too, or make me feel stuck and inadequate?
- Does it fire me up to nurture my own talents, or just envy their talents?
Their success has no bearing on your potential. Flip comparisons into inspiration to maximize your gifts, on your own timeline.
Turn Setbacks Into Comebacks
When major setbacks or failures strike, it’s easy for confidence to plummet. How you frame the experience makes all the difference.
Recast setbacks as comebacks by:
- Letting the initial sting pass before making conclusions about yourself from it
- Getting analytical about what went wrong and how to improve
- Seeing it as one experiment or iteration, not the final word
- Recalling times you rebounded from previous stumbles
- Persevering with hope versus spiraling with regret
With tenacity and wisdom, a setback can become launch pad for your next achievement. Even major failures catalyze growth for those with resilience.
Compliment Your Progress
We’re quick to criticize our missteps and flaws. Balance that by deliberately noticing and celebrating your wins and progress.
Give yourself encouragement through positive self-talk like:
- “I’m getting better at this every day!”
- “I handled that situation so gracefully.”
- “I’m impressed by my own determination.”
- “My skills have grown so much since I started.”
Get granular with praise too. Applaud small steps forward:
- “I prioritized self-care and it felt great.”
- “I spoke up confidently in the meeting today.”
The habit of self-compliments builds motivation, pride, and confidence. Be your own biggest cheerleader!
Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable
Pushing beyond your comfort zone is essential for growth. Lean into that feeling of being stretched as a sign you’re expanding your abilities.
When a new endeavor makes you uncertain and anxious, reframe it:
“This uncertainty means I’m growing. I can handle this.”
“My fumbly start is completely normal for a beginner.”
“I have so much to learn. It’s ok to not know it all yet.”
“Feeling shaky pushes me right to the edge of my abilities.”
Eventually with practice, new skills become second nature. Welcome early wobbles as a necessary and promising part of the confidence-building process.
Celebrate Others’ Wins
Believing that success is not limited allows confidence to flourish. Practice celebrating when peers or rivals succeed.
When others achieve something great, show support by:
- Congratulating them publicly or privately
- Asking to hear the story behind their win
- Expressing appreciation for what you admire about their work
- Noticing the journey it took for them to reach goals
Sincere joy for their accomplishments affirms.
Conclusion: Putting the Keys to Confidence into Action
Becoming more confident takes dedication, self-compassion, and consistent practice. But with an open mind and willingness to step forward, your sense of assurance and belief in yourself can grow stronger each day.
Reread this guide often, adding notes about concepts and techniques that resonate with you. Try out the suggestions and notice which build momentum. Over time, integrate the most empowering ideas into your daily life.
Let obstacles and missteps refocus rather than discourage you. Reframing failures as growth opportunities is key. Progress takes patience and perseverance.
Trust that the path itself leads to increasing confidence, however long it takes. Savor each small win. Know that the rewards will be immense freedom, pride, and purpose.
You already have everything you need inside to realize your potential. This guide illuminated the way, but the power comes from within you. Embrace the journey – you’ve got this!
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